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Fifa's regulations regulate down to the last label how the representatives of the participating nations have to dress and how they have to appear. Those who still want to stand up for tolerance, diversity and human rights have to come up with something.
It is the predictable tragedy. Shortly before the start of the controversial World Cup in Qatar, various participating nations are struggling to somehow set a visible sign for tolerance and diversity without alienating Fifa. This is virtually impossible, because Fifa wants to present its product in a clean way and, as the guardian of the regulations, has the upper hand.
"The wearing or use of any part (of the playing kit or other clothing or equipment and the like) in controlled areas is prohibited if FIFA considers that it is [...] are dangerous, offensive or objectionable, contain political, religious or personal slogans, statements or images or otherwise do not comply with the Laws of the Game," states the Equipment Regulations, which regulates everything up to the perforation of names and numbers (holes no larger than 2 mm) that has to do with the visual appearance of players and coaches. Anything that does not fit, in Fifa's opinion, will be banned.
Just recently, the Danish team's request to wear the slogan "human rights for all" on their training shirts was rejected. The sponsors had cleared their chests for this. But "human rights for all" was too political, found Fifa, whose statutes state: "FIFA is committed to the observance of all internationally recognised human rights and is committed to the protection of these rights."
Motions like this are good because the world governing body has to take a stand on this and that alone is news. Unfortunately, only in the countries that are having this discussion at all. It will also be exciting to see how the captain's armband is handled, which, in addition to Granit Xhaka for Switzerland, the captains of England, the Netherlands, Belgium, Wales, France, Denmark and Germany also want to wear on their arms. It is printed with the inscription "One Love" and a colourful heart.
Fifa has not yet made a final statement on the matter, but the regulations are clear: "At FIFA final tournaments, the captain of each team must wear the captain's armband provided by FIFA. If FIFA provides different captain's armbands, a model should be worn that best contrasts with the sleeve over which it is worn". They will certainly not provide the "One Love" armband. More likely sanction it with a fine. What loopholes in the regulations can protesting professionals even slip through without being prevented from doing so before going onto the field with the killer argument "too political"
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One of the favourite pastimes of bored professionals, as we all know, is to fly in the hairdresser to surprise the world with a new look at the next opportunity (and then be surprised by their lack of understanding of it). If he had not only blond but also rainbow colours in his luggage, a motley crew in impeccable gear would be on the field and Fifa would be faced with a tricky question.
Naturally, it doesn't want to see such a thing, but hairstyles have been the main playground for personal liberties for professionals. One was allowed to become world champion with anything on the head that the paint pots or the razor provided. Moreover, Fifa's statutes clearly state tolerance: "Any discrimination against any country, individual or group of individuals on the grounds of colour, ethnic, national or social origin, sex, disability, language, religion, political or other opinion, property, birth or other status, sexual orientation or any other ground is prohibited, under penalty of suspension or expulsion.
A rainbow team would in any case cause a stir and could not be hidden by any director. The pictures would be in the world. And the "problem" could not simply be confiscated, as is possible with unwanted objects: "The match commissioner is allowed to confiscate all unauthorised parts and submit them to FIFA together with a written report."
A few days later, the match commissioner would be able to confiscate all unauthorised parts and submit them to FIFA together with a written report.
For a few days, the excitement would be great, then the next match would be on. The only way to cover the unwanted symbol within the regulations is to make a tolerant concession: players are allowed to wear "religious headgear, such as headscarves, turbans or similar garments". These must be "either the dominant colour of the player's jersey or black".
While equipment such as headgear, face masks, knee and arm pads, goggles and medical bandages or splints must be approved and accepted by officials before the game, at least the choice of contact lenses does not appear to be further regulated. These, too, come in rainbow colours, with peace signs or more subtly with bloody cuts that leave much room for interpretation. Explanations can follow later. For now, it's about creating images.
And players lined up for the anthem with a message in their eyes would be an image that would go around the world. Such lenses are not suitable for road traffic, but there is nothing in them about quarter-finals. If need be, they can be removed before kick-off just as quickly as they are inserted in the dressing room.
What can't be removed and is almost more popular among footballers than new hairstyles? New tattoos. As far as I know, only the Chinese government has banned its players from having body jewellery, but the Chinese are not even taking part in Qatar. Everyone else is free to poke and prod, and Fifa even secures appropriate rights to use the messages in its Media and Marketing Regulations.
From world stars to kit attendants, it has a free hand to use virtually anything: "For each Delegation Member, any identifying information or characteristics in his or her capacity as a Delegation Member, including, inter alia. his name, abbreviation, nickname, shirt number, photographs, images (including still and moving representations thereof), appearance, animation, tattoos or other body art, signature/autograph (including copies thereof), voice, statements, achievements, records, statistics, biometric data, other data [...]" - it goes on for a while. Therefore: fly in the tattoo artists, tattoos or "other body art" are a good channel of communication.
Besides rather plain messages like the words "blessed" (Neymar), a back-filling picture of oneself (Leroy Sané) or calendar slogans à la "dream big be unrealtistic" at David Beckham, who is living the big dream as the face of the World Cup in Qatar and has a surreal total of just under 180 million Swiss francs, there will still be room on one or two index fingers for a short message to be raised to the camera as they cheer: "human rights for all".
Titelbild: Shutterstock/Sanjay JSSports scientist, high-performance dad and remote worker in the service of Her Majesty the Turtle.