Nice try, Marie Kondo! How to teach your kids to tidy up after themselves
6.5.2023
Translation: Veronica Bielawski
In a recent interview, tidying pro Marie Kondo revealed how she teaches her own children to keep things neat. Her methods certainly wouldn’t work with my kids.
Marie Kondo. She’s the world-famous professional organising consultant. The Mary Poppins of our generation. Her magic touch leaves behind order, with everything perfectly folded and sorted by colour.
What a relief it was when Marie Kondo recently revealed her mere human side for the first time. «My home is messy,» the Netflix tidying expert and best-selling author confessed in January in an interview with the Washington Post. «But the way I am spending my time is the right way for me at this time at this stage of my life.» Welcome to life with kids, Marie Kondo, I thought to myself – admittedly, with some satisfaction.
The fact that her perfect facade was crumbling soothed me. I pictured her in her pastel living room, tripping over her children’s Legos and peeling their food scraps off of a pink Tripp Trapp chair). This mental image allowed some sympathy for the perfectly staged perfectionist to creep into my mind for the first time.
Source: screenshot Instagram/mariekondo
Watching to no avail
Sympathy that she’s since nipped right in the bud. A few days ago, the 38-year-old Japanese woman gave another interview to a German portal – and once again cemented her flawlessness.
Focus.de wanted to know how she teaches her children to stay orderly. Her unspectacular – and for that very reason spectacular – answer? «I tidy up in front of my kids so they see it as a daily task or something enjoyable – and not a chore.» She goes on to say that she sometimes catches her daughters folding their own laundry or setting the dining table.
Wow. With a pang of envy, I think about how I’ve never caught my two girls folding laundry. At most, I’ve caught them pilfering sweets. But hey, they have at least voluntarily set the table before. Twice.
And yes, my two girls also have the pleasure of watching me clean. That’s certainly not something I do behind their backs. I want them to see this as part of daily life – and to understand that they should lend a hand. But my motivational tactics have yet to bear fruit. In general, they’ll only join in after repeated requests. And even then only amidst grumbling.
On the other hand, my girls are world champions at watching mummy clean up without batting an eye or lifting a finger themselves.
Where’s their desire to tidy up?
The Kondo girls are cut from a different cloth, as underscored by another statement in the interview: «I taught my children from an early age that they should keep the things that bring them joy. Children as young as three are capable of deciding what they enjoy. And the most important principle is that each person should make decisions for themselves.»
Agreed. But with all due respect, if I always let my seven-year-old decide for herself what she can keep and what not or what she enjoys and what not, her nursery would long look like the site of an explosion. And that wouldn’t be in line with the KonMari Method either, would it? The only way to keep their hoarding tendencies in check is with routine combined decluttering sprints.
I can already hear Marie Kondo’s admonishing words in my ear; setting an example doesn’t necessarily mean setting a good example, I suppose. Maybe I should dance around the living room jumping for joy as I tidy up in the future to infect my children with my (rather feeble) zeal for orderliness? A fair point. Maybe it all comes down to something Kondo has which I don’t. Namely, fun while cleaning. For me, the process is and remains a chore.
Relaxing à la Kondo
Lucky for me, Kondo also reveals her methods for relaxing after a long day. When asked how she manages to find time for herself as a mother of three, she replies: «Since getting married and having children, I’ve found the ideal bedtime routine that fits my lifestyle: after our family dinner, I put the kids to bed with a bedtime story. And once everyone’s asleep, it’s my turn to relax.» So far, so good.
Until it becomes clear that Kondo has a somewhat different definition of «relaxing». «I tidy up the kitchen, prepare food for the next day, check my e-mails and write down my appointments for the coming day,» she elaborates on her evening routine. At least she does also make herself a cup of tea and journal if she has the time. «Afterward, I might diffuse some essential oils, apply some skin care products and even do some stretching if I feel like it. My number one goal is to relax every evening so I can get a good night’s sleep.» Good night then.
Time to take stock
So, was Kondo’s aim to have us believing there was a human degree of messiness over at her place? In any case, it failed. It seems she doesn’t let things slide at home quite so much after all. Perhaps she should tidy her Instagram account of its flawlessness next. It would do both her credibility and our self-esteem some good.
Source: Screenshot Instagram/mariekondo
Our changing drawer looked like this after organising it – for five minutes, tops. And even if I clean our home three times a day – with or without the help of my kids – it never stays tidy for more than an hour. Because I’ve lost control of my life? No. Because I have two children.
But someday, I’ll get back at them. Someday, I’ll stomp into their homes, throw my clothes on the floor, help myself generously to what’s in the fridge and plop down on the sofa with greasy chips to watch them clean everything up. Take that! Now there’s some joy Marie Kondo will never get to experience.
Header image: Shutterstock
Katja Fischer
Senior Editor
Katja.Fischer@digitecgalaxus.chMom of Anna and Elsa, aperitif expert, group fitness fanatic, aspiring dancer and gossip lover. Often a multitasker and a person who wants it all, sometimes a chocolate chef and queen of the couch.