Reviewing Saints Row: slightly old-fashioned, but still delivering wonderfully carefree action
22.8.2022
Translation: Patrik Stainbrook
Finally, another open-world game that doesn’t take itself too seriously. Saints Row is all about having fun. Thankfully, plenty was provided.
«Saints Row» 1 and 2 wanted to be a grittier «GTA». All in vain. It wasn’t until «Saints Row The Third» that developer Volition found its own path. This path included rickshaw chases using half-naked sex slaves, cab rides for bad-tempered tigers, or a dubstep gun that forces people to dance. Today’s reboot, simply called «Saints Row», is a bit more serious, but still puts a lot of emphasis on fun. I tested the PC version.
A sympathetic bunch
The eponymous gangster consortium «Saints» doesn’t yet exist at the start of the game. It’ll only be established after we’ve dealt with our respective gangs, or to be more accurate, private armies. The four of us: topless party stud and amateur chef Kevin, car mechanic Neenah, nerd and voice of reason Eli, and The Boss, played by me. I can choose to be a man, woman, or anything in between. The character editor and outfits are so varied that there’s even a smartphone app for it.
What immediately strikes me as a plus is the characters’ conversational tone. Whether it’s between the four do-it-yourself ruffians or later on with the extended gang: they’re all kind and sincere to each other. They’re still all cold-blooded killers, yes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have board game nights with homemade enchiladas together. It’s an exact contrast to «GTA IV», which never tries to evoke sympathy for its cynical anti-hero trio. The Saints don’t (verbally) snipe at each other; instead there are company team building outings that degenerate into wild shootouts and chases with hover bikes. «Saints Row» relies on good vibes and a healthy helping of goofy humour. From the first mission it becomes clear: seriousness must stay away, only carefree gamers can enjoy this ride.
Stale but entertaining gameplay
What does it take to found a successful gang? Well, a suitable headquarters in the colourful Santo Ileso, first off. Neenah finds this in an abandoned church. Stupidly, a construction company has already headed there to demolish our new home. Naturally, we can’t let that happen. Time to borrow a bulldozer from the yellow helmets and have it flatten containers while using the shovel as a catapult to hurl Porta Potties through the air. Realistic? Not really. Fun? Oh yeah.
But a fancy base alone won’t impress anyone. Our empire must grow. Seeing as you can also expand by destroying others, I accompanied Neenah on a revenge mission against her former gang, the Panteros. They wrecked her beloved car and life’s work. A big mistake. We borrow an armed tourist/fighter helicopter – all available in Santo Ileso, of course – and shoot up the Panteros vehicle factory with it. After everything is on fire and/or has stopped moving, we land on the roof and go into close combat.
«Saints Row» contains a colourful arsenal of weapons and various special abilities. Hand-to-hand combat à la Street Fighter? Yep. Throwing opponents around like trash while sticking a grenade in their pants beforehand? Double yep. Throwing a trap that catapults adversaries into the air when they step on it, making them vulnerable to a hail of bullets? But of course. In addition, I can charge a melee special attack that allows me to disable enemies with spectacular moves at the touch of a button.
With all these skills and weapons at my disposal, I shoot my way into the heart of the factory, doing my best Arnold impression on the way there. There I have to flip a few switches so Neenah can sabotage the equipment. Several waves of enemies try to stop us. As if they’d have a chance against The Boss. Can’t they see my hot dog hat and shoes made out of paper towel boxes? I am not to be trifled with. After our work is done, Neenah and I escape the – of course – exploding factory at the last second. A short chase ensues with me, naturally, on the roof of the car and the mission is done.
Slam Dunks with your hoverboard
It’s a bit of a shame that the more imaginative weapons appear late in the game. Assault rifles and rocket launchers are all well and good. The Witzger is an experimental football. With this luminous projectile, I can target people and even vehicles. When hit, they whiz through the air – like a balloon with its knot loosened. Or a hoverboard. I can do slam dunks on vehicles with it. Yeeeeehaaaaa.
I owe these special weapons to the Eurekabator – a criminal enterprise that’s part of our expansion plan. I placed this support centre for startups, which quite coincidentally resembles the one in the HBO series «Silicon Valley», above the site plan in our base. With it, I gradually unlock new flimsy businesses that can be established for the necessary fee at various locations in Santo Ileso.
The first company is Jim Rob’s Garage. Having bailed out the garage owner and flattened his competition with monster trucks, he now works for us. Simply fixing cars, however, would be Saints-unworthy, so I «borrow» various vehicles scattered around town and return them to the garage. Why the police always arrive with a caravan of neon-blue cars is a mystery to me, but it guarantees an explosive chase. Especially when I can use special vehicle attacks, like the wrecking ball.
Pimp my Foodtruck
Each vehicle has a special ability. It’s unlocked by performing certain manoeuvres, such as doing a somersault three times. After that, it can be equipped in Jim Rob’s Garage – along with a gigantic range of customisation options. As with the character editor, the selection is constantly growing. I can customise everything from the width of the wheels, through the side mirror, to the engine sound to my liking. Upgrades such as nitro drive, an off-road kit or general tuning are also possible. My fleet is huge and contains everything from go-karts to lowriders to food trucks. I could spend hours with the two customisation suites alone.
In the course of the game, I can establish 14 such dubious companies. Each of them brings with it new side quests. Few of them are truly original. But the activities are entertaining, humorous and varied, so most of them were still fun. Especially thanks to the soundtrack, which, like the gameplay, is firmly stuck in the noughties. That’s fine with me. Tracks such as «Slam» by Onyx or «Tres Delinquentes» by Delinquent Habits throw me right back to my youth. Modern cravings are satisfied by the synthwave radio station «Outrun» or another of the in total ten stations.
A cardboard heart
I’d like to mention two mission highlights. The classic ragdolling from past «Saints» games is back on board. To cheat insurance companies, I throw myself in front of moving cars and then fly hundreds of metres through the air. The goal is to hit as many other cars as possible, which will promptly explode, causing maximum damage. I myself don’t get hurt in the process. Did I mention I’m wearing a hot dog hat?
Top of the pops for me, however, remains the LARP quest series. LARP stands for Live Action Role Playing. Eli is a big fan, and as his friend, I naturally help him create his own fantasy kingdom. LARP seems to be a popular sport in Santo Ileso, as half the town duels in outfits made from cardboard. In one mission we have to storm the castle of the evil House Phoenix, as they stole the city’s entire tape supply. In another, we summon the Bowelrod. A powerful beast that disables its enemies with a thunderous roar – it’s a cardboard sandworm roped to a vehicle armoured with mattresses. LARP fighting is similar to the rest of the game, except that no one gets hurt. But everyone involved is fully committed and falls to the ground theatrically when I rip out their hearts or spray confetti when shooting them in the head with plastic arrows. Obvious? Nope. Hilarious? Yep.
Almost everything in «Saints Row» is trimmed for fun. I steal cars within seconds by diving through the side window – even if it belongs to my buddies whom I’ve previously called for backup. Even the smallest vehicle accelerates like a 700 kW electric car. There are ramps everywhere that can launch me hundreds of metres, and in the air I control my vehicle like an aeroplane. Realistic? Nope. Fun? Hell yeah!
Across all missions or side quests, I enjoy travelling with my buddies. I like my friends. We’re there for each other. The fact that I can still solve any problem like a psychopathic serial killer fits «Saints Row» perfectly. This is also reflected in the dialogue. For example, take Eli and me while storming the headquarters of the Marshalls private army. Due to barely skimming over my employment contract, the Saints have now become a subsidiary of the Marshalls.
The Boss: «I tried it your way, now back to murder»
Eli: «You can’t solve everything with murder»
The Boss: «You shut your mouth»
I like my lovable jerks.
The perfect pastime until «GTA 6»
If you’re into open-world action games, there’s hardly anything better than «Saints Row» at the moment. The missions are varied, the combat system is pleasantly wacky with numerous fantasy weapons and special attacks, and everything is spiced up with a good dose of humour. Much of «Saints Row» boils down to shootouts or car chases, making the gameplay feel a bit stale. Still, it’s entertaining enough that it rarely gets boring. Add to that the Saints, a likeable bunch of rowdy ruffians. Be it kidnapping cow statues with Neenah or playing chauffeur for Kevin so he can get his much sought after Mechaburger toy.
The only things to criticise are the somewhat poorly placed checkpoints from time to time, the rubber banding system during chases and a few bugs. The graphics won’t knock anyone’s socks off either. Rain especially looks more like a wet sandstorm. But the world is definitely worth giving a spin – if only to set new long jump records in pimped carts. On top of that, there’s a co-op mode, which allows the game to be played with friends.
«Saints Row» doesn’t care about being the most important open-world game of all time. It simply wants to be fun and has fully succeeded in that.
«Saints Row» is available for PC, PS4, PS5, Xbox One, Xbox Series S/X and Google Stadia. The game was provided to us by Plaion.
Philipp Rüegg
Senior Editor
Philipp.Rueegg@digitecgalaxus.chBeing the game and gadget geek that I am, working at digitec and Galaxus makes me feel like a kid in a candy shop – but it does take its toll on my wallet. I enjoy tinkering with my PC in Tim Taylor fashion and talking about games on my podcast http://www.onemorelevel.ch. To satisfy my need for speed, I get on my full suspension mountain bike and set out to find some nice trails. My thirst for culture is quenched by deep conversations over a couple of cold ones at the mostly frustrating games of FC Winterthur.
