Children's books
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Anti-Quengel book - survival ideas for parents and happy kids
German, Sabrina Müller, 2020
Sabrina Müller: A craft book author talks about life as a mum
She is a mum, a teacher and, most recently, a book author. Sabrina Müller talks about working with her book publisher and how much she earns from the sale of her book.
Sabrina is a mum of two, teaches handicrafts at a school and regularly writes craft articles on Galaxus. Now the "Anti-Quengel-Buch" has been published, the first book from her pen. In her studio, she talks about the book while helping her daughter draw a character from Paw Patrol.
Your recently published book is called Anti-Quengel-Buch. What is it about and who should definitely read it?
Sabrina Müller: My book contains creative ideas and handicraft instructions that strengthen the bond between parents and children. It's a book that solves problems when children are unhappy or are in their autonomy and opinion-forming phase. During this time, they want to have a say in many things. And that's a good thing. My book is about creating co-operation and finding creative ways of doing things. I am convinced that many problems can be solved quickly with a few creative tools. For example, getting dressed in the morning. Parents often struggle with this. And then the children whinge.
Do you have a whinging child yourself or where did you get the educational know-how to write a book like this?
No parent can claim that their child never whinges. There is no such thing. And I have a lot of experience with this. I also gained a lot of knowledge during my pedagogical training, but my understanding of it has grown through trying it out with my own children. So yes, I have had a lot of experience with a whinging child.
While Sabrina smiles and talks about her own experiences with a nagging child, she looks over at her daughter. The little girl is still drawing her favourite character from Paw Patrol. Sabrina's look reveals that the current quiet phase will not last. She will soon want to find something else to do.
Why do children whinge at all?
Children whinge because they don't have the vocabulary to express their wishes, feelings and needs. This then manifests itself in nagging, whinging or even screaming. Since becoming a mum, I've thought to myself that there must be a solution that works for everyone. For the parents as well as for the child. That's why I like the new authority approach as a parenting style.
«Children whinge because they don't have the vocabulary to express their wishes, feelings and needs.»
What is the new authority?
With the new authority, the secure bond between child and carer is the be-all and end-all. The relationship has top priority. We also allow the child to have a say, which makes them strong for getting older. As parents, we put up an imaginary fence for the children and thereby define the framework conditions. The children are allowed to move freely within it. Here's an example: I tell my daughter that it's warm outside. So she has to choose an item of clothing from a certain drawer in her wardrobe with a T-shirt or skirt and can't wear a jumper. She can then choose and decide for herself what she wants to wear. That's how we get there together and I involve her in the decisions.
Sabrina's daughter speaks out. Her Paw Patrol artwork is finished and she wants to do something else. "I want the egg. The bill egg." A craft that Sabrina prepared for her son during the coronavirus lockdown. It has several numbers on it that he can use to solve simple maths calculations. "But it has calculations on it that are still a bit difficult for you. But you can pick out the numbers you already know and stick the matching post-it on them," suggests Sabrina. She thinks it's a great idea and gives in to the task.
Back to your book. Have you wanted to write a book for a while and why exactly this one?
It was a childhood dream. I used to always want to write a book with my mum. Now I was quicker. But it was also coincidence and luck that the publisher asked me.
«I used to always want to write a book with my mum. Now I was quicker.»
So the publisher already approached you with a finished idea?
Yes, the EMF publishing house suggested a concrete idea to me. They know the book market and know where there is demand and which books sell well.
So the publisher also exercised the new authority over you.
So to speak, yes. They gave me the framework conditions and I was free to collect the ideas and deliver the content. But I was in constant dialogue with the editor.
So the craft ideas came from you. What criteria did you use to curate the content of the book?
I defined the content topics together with the publisher. We wanted topics such as rainy weather, car journeys or boredom in the book. In other words, typical moments when children whinge. I then searched through my repertoire of craft ideas and picked out ones that were suitable for these situations.
Did you also come up with new ideas for the book or did you take all the crafting instructions from your blog?
No. I think there are just four things that I was able to transfer from previous crafting instructions into the book. I developed all the other ideas from scratch. I have already used the basic techniques and play ideas many times with children. However, many new ideas were created for the book. For example, the salt dough technique became a dinosaur fossil memory.
How long did it take you to finish writing your book?
The publisher gave me a very tight deadline. I came up with all the craft ideas, realised them, photographed them and wrote the text within three months. It was a very tough time and I had to concentrate fully on this project. But I also enjoyed it.
In hindsight, do you wish you had more time?
I was very lucky that my family supported me. My husband was always at my side and my children helped me with my handicrafts. So it was doable in this short time. Of course, I could always work on it a little longer or make more things. But at some point you have to draw a line under it. Otherwise the project will never be finished.
"Mum look! I've already found so many numbers. Even four," interrupts her daughter. Sabrina congratulates her that half of the numbers already have a post-it stuck on them. "Shall I show you how a butterfly is made?" The little girl has already discovered something new. A picture in which a caterpillar turns into a butterfly. "First this, then this, then this, then this, then this and then it's a butterfly!" The order isn't quite right and mum Sabrina tries to put it right. Her daughter isn't sure, but sticks to her version. "Maybe we'll find a caterpillar in the garden one day, then we can watch it turn into a butterfly," suggests Sabrina. The little girl nods and sits down on her lap. Now she flicks through her mum's craft book and picks out her favourite DIYs.
You published your book through a publishing house. Why not do it yourself?
At first I was torn as to whether to publish with or without a publisher. But now that I've worked with a publisher, I would do it again. It was a good experience for me. I learnt an incredible amount. The publisher also did a lot for me.
As you know, the publisher and retailer get the lion's share of the proceeds. What's in it for you?
Yes, to be honest, that's how it is. I signed a contract with my publisher right from the start. When I submitted my work, I received a fixed amount of money. I also get a small percentage of every book sold. A really small one. But the publisher puts a lot of work into my book. They take care of the printing, all the sales and marketing of the book. They have experience and the necessary contacts. If I were to knock on a retailer's door as an individual, I wouldn't have it quite so easy. That's why I think it's a fair distribution.
Your book has been on sale for a week now. How did the launch go?
The stupid thing is, I don't know. I don't know any sales figures yet. But I personally have already received a lot of positive feedback about the book. Some readers have already written to me and shown me what they have already realised in this short time. That's really nice and makes me particularly happy.
After the book is before the book. Do you already have plans for another one?
Yes, I already have a few thoughts floating around in my head. I would definitely like to write another book and am already in dialogue with the publisher. So I can well imagine that there will be another one. But I don't have any concrete plans yet. I want to savour my first book first.
What tip would you give to someone who would like to write a book themselves?
The best tip: Just do it. Because most of the time you're standing in your own way. Ignore your fears. Yes, you can do it. Yes, people want to read this. No, it's not the wrong time. And one more thing: talk to someone who already has experience in the book business. Either with a publisher or someone close to you who has already done something along these lines.
«The best tip: Just do it. Because most of the time, you're standing in your own way.»
Is there anything else on your mind that you would like to say?
Yes, I would like to address my words to all parents. I hope and wish for you that you will find creative ways of parenting. To accept that children have feelings and needs and that they are allowed to do so. The aim is not to switch off the children and the nagging, but to walk the path together and find a joint solution.
Sabrina's daughter is getting impatient. Before she starts to whinge, she gets her snack. She has a sultana roll and an apricot. After her snack, her daughter jumps up from the table to get a toy and bangs her head against the kitchen shelf on the way there. A deafening scream breaks out. Sabrina quickly fetches a kitchen towel filled with ice cubes to cool her head while she lovingly comforts her. Now the book author, teacher and blogger has a break. The little one only needs one now: Her mummy.
If you want to see more of Sabrina's craft ideas, why not check out her author profile or blog. Or you can grab yourself a copy of her new book.
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Riding my motorbike makes me feel free, fishing brings out my inner hunter, using my camera gets me creative. I make my money messing around with toys all day.
