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by Stefanie Lechthaler
Ugly carnival costume bingo
28.2.2025
Translation: Jessica Johnson-Ferguson
There are sexy costumes and funny costumes. And then, there’s an entire realm of downright hideous ones. I’ve put together the worst I could find in this shop to make choosing easier for you.
Love it or hate it, it’s carnival time. It’s the season when creativity meets bad taste in Switzerland. Get wild once a year is the unofficial motto of this tradition. As you’re bound to bump into all kinds this year, we might as well turn things into a bingo session. Get your cards and pens ready!
«Cheeky» Barney Stinsons
Having to don a suit for work is one thing. But voluntarily wearing one with «cheeky» prints is borderline masochistic. So what’s the idea, anyway? Carnival with composure? Showing off your stylish side? Questions probably only insurance consultants can answer.
Potheads
This subspecies of stoner genuinely seems to believe taking one look at their bloodshot eyes and drooping eyelids won’t suffice to get the message they’re into magic cigarettes. They’re dead set on rubbing everyone’s nose in the fact that weed isn’t a real drug, but under no circumstances should become legalised. We wouldn’t want the price to go up now, would we?
Body prints
Dress for the body you want, not the body you have. I have to admit, I find the idea behind this concept quite amusing. Unfortunately, the implementation doesn’t really work in real life because the 3D effect is lost. You’re actually just looking at a person wearing a T-shirt with a six-pack printed on it.
Disturbing, not sexy
These outfits aren’t lusty, they’re a walking red flag. And yet there’s always someone at a fancy dress party who has no shame in flaunting their pervy side. Pun intended.
Inflatables
Inflatables aren’t restricted to the penis kind either. There’s a whole range to choose from. These balloons for people to get into aren’t just extremely awkward to move about in, they also need constant life support. This means the clumsy wearers also need to carry around an air pump at all times.
Costumes that aren’t costumes
Why would anyone buy an ugly outfit just because it’s labelled «costume»? After all, you can get the same normal outfits at a fraction of the price at any thrift shop. If you’re lucky, you’ll even find something that looks so good on you, you can continue wearing it after carnival.
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach
Are you sweet or spicy? It’s just like your grandparents said, you shouldn’t play with food. And well-behaved grandchildren listen to their grandmas and grandpas, right?
Wait, what!?
Last but not least, a collection of costumes I was unable to categorise. At least that means they’re original. But the beer tracksuit… it’s turning me into that red emoji costume.
Have you ever sported one of the featured costumes yourself or maybe just worn a very creative costume? Describe it to me in the comments or send me photographic proof of it.
Header image: Michael Restin
Painting the walls just before handing over the flat? Making your own kimchi? Soldering a broken raclette oven? There's nothing you can't do yourself. Well, perhaps sometimes, but I'll definitely give it a try.
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