The Guide to Calming Down. A critical remark, an unanswered greeting, a phone ringing during a presentation: there are many opportunities to get upset over trivial matters. Over trivial matters? No one reacts with intense feelings over insignificant reasons, so it is worth identifying the true cause of the great anger. When fundamental emotional needs such as the need for appreciation, autonomy, and security are threatened or even violated, the foundation of our well-being is shaken. Numerous exercises help to constructively deal with disturbances and find a way out of dead ends.