KickerBall disappointment – time to give the product description a good dressing down
Product test

KickerBall disappointment – time to give the product description a good dressing down

This ball does crazy curves but is ready to be binned way too soon. The extreme spin of this ball is fun, but the price is too high. Here’s an attempt at lowering expectations.

Let’s start on a positive note. It’s a ball we’re talking about. To me, that’s always a good reason to buy. When fellow editor Ramon Schneider asked me a few months ago if I’d like to test the KickerBall with my kids, I didn’t hesitate. Even though the ball is classified as a toy, I was curious and had certain expectations. After all, it sounds as if it has almost boomerang-like traits. «Twice as many curves ... twice as much fun!», or so the advertising goes. Instead of waiting for a product sample, I went ahead and purchased a KickerBall. Big mistake. Why? The lightweight sphere has a short lifespan. Frankly, the product description’s full of itself. Time to put it in its place.

The product description:
«Kick the ball like a professional with KickerBall. KickerBall by Swerve Ball (size 4) is not your average soccer ball. Inspired by the greatest athletes in the world …»

Hang on a minute. Guys, what do you mean exactly? Is the ball meant to be a tribute to Pelé, who started out by kicking around stuffed socks and grapefruits? It’s possible that the latter served as inspiration for the bold colour choice. But all the ball’s meant to do give you Roberto Carlos’ superpowers – outdo physics.

It’s nice to think the greatest athletes in the world have had a positive influence on this kids’ ball. But after trying it out for a bit, other thoughts arise around this confident statement. Battered – like the heads of Muhammad Ali’s opponents. Or rendered useless faster than Usain Bolt can run 200 metres. But let us proceed.

«... product design combines unique panelling and aerodynamic materials that together channel air differently than your standard soccer ball …»

You’re true pros. I take my hat off to the team. You’ve really channelled a lot of hot air to say nothing. But let’s take it one game at a time. After all, the truth will be revealed on the pitch. Could you be more specific, though?

«... our ball gives you the ability to swerve, bend, and curve with ease! Created for kids, adults, or anyone who wants to learn cool tricks.»

That’s true. The ball is extremely lightweight and flies crazy curves – a great way for younger kids to practise shooting with spin. We definitely had fun with it for a couple of hours. Unfortunately, this means I won’t be able to make a warranty claim.

If you don’t hit the KickerBall precisely, your shot will be totally unpredictable. My most brilliant volley ended smack bang in the middle of my nephew’s face. Fortunately, the ball is so light it even takes the edge off headers – both the deliberate and the accidental kind.

«We do recommend that you wear indoor soccer cleats/boots or sneakers when using the KickerBall – if you want it to last for years to come. You can even play barefoot on the beach or at the park.»

Football boots or sneakers or barefoot. Thanks for your concrete recommendations. We tried them all, but the choice of shoes has little effect on the longevity of the fun. It’s more about the state of the park or the shells on the beach. Anything that scratches or cuts will reduce the lifespan of your ball, which quickly comes undone at the seams.

KickerBall’s delicate seams mean choosing your surface carefully.
KickerBall’s delicate seams mean choosing your surface carefully.

«Want to take it to the field?»

Yes!

«No problem.»

Yes, it is, if the playing field is concrete or has an edge dotted with branches and thorns. This is a ball for ideal conditions. We played exclusively on grass or artificial turf. And yet, the seams soon suffered and the ball deflated.

« Cleats can be used with our ball ...»

How helpful. But doesn’t come with any major advantages. Unless I want to finish the ball off and stomp it into the ground for good. What would’ve been more important to know is that you should under no circumstances inflate the ball too much.

*«... but be aware that the wear and tear on our ball is different from a soccer ball/football.

This I can confirm. Maybe you should’ve started with this sentence. Your ball is fun. It makes all those great trick shots you see in YouTube videos possible. Sadly, only for a short while, though. And that’s a real shame even for children’s ball. «Twice as many curves ... four times as quickly destroyed!» – this calculation doesn’t add up and makes for disappointed faces. A regular soccer ball may not fly quite as crazily, but it can withstand considerably more. The inexpensive models by the Decathlon brand Kipsta are solid in my experience and only lose their colour when you use them on concrete. And colour has no influence on the fun of the game.

Scuffed, but ready for use: this is what soccer balls for everyday use look like.
Scuffed, but ready for use: this is what soccer balls for everyday use look like.

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Sports scientist, high-performance dad and remote worker in the service of Her Majesty the Turtle.


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