Worst day of the week
What do you think is the shittiest day of the week?
Mimimi: You fucking Tuesday, you!
14.5.2019
Translation: machine translated
Pictures: Thomas Kunz
The arsehole day of the week? For most people, it's Monday. It's not called Monday for nothing when something sucks or doesn't work. Not for me. Tuesday, the arsehole day, is much worse.
A disaster, my work laptop. Unsuspecting anything bad, I start it up, log in and get to work. Then a black screen. Restarting and pressing the power button for 20 seconds don't produce the desired result.
What's going on? Oh right: it's Tuesday.
Tuesday. What's wrong with this day? I mean, just the name. Tuesday. It's usually patch day and nothing works. Tuesday is a failure in terms of the very idea. I loathe no other day of the week more. Not even Monday. After all, it comes right after Sunday. In other words, a day off that belongs to the weekend. There are far fewer IT problems there because most people have better things to do than stare in horror at their useless work laptop (like I do now).
Saturday is also part of the weekend. That's Saturday and Sunday saved. Most people have the day off, see their loved ones or pursue their hobbies. Or go to sleep. Especially on Sundays, after a night of drinking. On no other day of the week do we replenish our sleep reserves as well as on Sunday.
Then comes Monday. It also sucks in terms of the concept because it's the first day of the week. But at least it's not as insidiously shitty as Tuesday. It's genuinely shitty, without any ulterior motives. That almost makes it likeable again. And if you want, you can carry the positive weekend vibe into Monday. In the morning during your coffee break in the office, for example. Apart from that, your sleep reserves are still full. Enough energy to cheerfully tackle new things. Like begging IT for a new laptop, for example. Actually, this Monday isn't so bad.
On Wednesday, half the week is already over. It's the turning point on the rocky road to the weekend. The first events and concerts are already taking place on Thursday. And we don't even need to talk about Friday. Just the thought of it makes many hearts beat faster. On no other day of the week is the weekend in its entirety so close. I'm not sure whether Friday rubs off on the weekend, or the weekend on Friday. Be that as it may. Friday is good.
But Tuesday... Tuesday is the arsehole of the weekdays.
Fuck you, Tuesday
Just when you think you've made it through the worst of Monday, Tuesday hits you full force because it's hiding behind Monday. But absolutely nothing happens on Tuesday. Like my laptop, which has now made way for a lousy replacement laptop. At most, some people (like me) stay at work longer because nothing else is working (like my work laptop). Apart from that, the name says it all - do your job.
You fucking Tuesday, you.
A lousy day that's just there, doing nothing but being there to unnecessarily drag out the journey to the weekend. The dual carriageway with a speed limit of 50 and zero views or any other variety. The one step at the bottom of the stairs that you don't expect and that sends you flying lengthways onto your face. The one classmate who still has to ask stupid questions even after the teacher has already gone five minutes overtime.
Tuesday feels like the moment when you're snuggled up in bed in the evening and then realise that you still have to pee. The toothpaste that you put on your toothbrush but slips off when you put it on and falls into the sink. The work laptop that has decided to stop working for no reason and needs to be repaired. The one careless second when you throw dirty cutlery into the clean dishwasher and contaminate everything.
Tuesday has nothing going for it. Nothing at all. No weekend vibes, no milestone that marks the middle of the week, no events or pre-glow, and certainly no "free" in the name. On the contrary. And if something does happen on a Tuesday, it's a disaster. 11 September, for example. Or the worst stock market crash of all time, which took place on 29 October 1929 and triggered a global economic crisis. Or the crash of my work laptop and the note that I won't get it back for at least a week - if at all.
Tuesday is just a puke.
Luca Fontana
Senior Editor
Luca.Fontana@digitecgalaxus.chI'm an outdoorsy guy and enjoy sports that push me to the limit – now that’s what I call comfort zone! But I'm also about curling up in an armchair with books about ugly intrigue and sinister kingkillers. Being an avid cinema-goer, I’ve been known to rave about film scores for hours on end. I’ve always wanted to say: «I am Groot.»
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